The Passion of Pursuit

My dearest love, do you not know how deep my love runs for you?  Oh how I long to scoop you up in my arms, twirl you around as your hair blows in the breeze.  I long to catch a glimpse of that beautiful smile that Father God created.  How beautiful is the smile he made just for you.  It fits you perfectly my love.

I have been following, pursuing and loving you all the days of your life.  When you were in your mothers womb and you felt her pain when she thought of you, I was there comforting you.  I was covering and protecting you.  My Spirit was in the water that surrounded your tiny little shape and my Spirit flowed through your lungs giving you life.  He nurtured you for me because of My (Our) great love for you from the beginning.  You may have not been planned by your family but you were most definitely planned by the Father, We have a purpose for you.

I knew your heart would yearn for me, that you would eventually turn to me and it brings me such joy to see it come to pass.  I also knew the pain that you would endure throughout your life, the struggles that pain would cause you and how much you would fear.  The enemy could see your worth and your love for me too and he could also see your weaknesses and he formed a terrible plan against you.  But I sent angels to minister to you and protected you.  I bound the enemy so he could not end your life and I have made sure you have been and always will be under my protection.  You are my girl, under my protection.

My sweet love, how I long for the day when you abandon all your fears and just run to me.  I see you peeking out from time to time, as you think you are sneaking up on me.  As soon as you think I am looking I know you dart back behind the wall you have built.  But I love you so much and I have more patience than you could imagine and I will not give up on your abandon love.  I have so much to give you and I am just waiting for you to ask.  Remember my covenant to you?  It is unbreakable and I will forever honor my part regardless your ability to honor yours.  I know you will make mistakes, I have already taken care of that for you.  Just touch my hands and you will see.

I wait with you to hear your desires and your invitation to be part of your life. You are my girl, my love, my passion!  I will always pursue you, I am right beside you...

My Everyday Beauty!

 

Last time I wrote I talked about my birds that have been visiting us regularly.  Here is another picture of one.  They still come and spend a lot of time at our front window a couple feet away from where we sit and watch them with excitement. 

I live in the country and because of that I get to see incredible beauty every day.  I have bunnies, birds, and occasionally deer that happen by our yard.  But every day I am in awe with the beauty from every angle of our home.  We have beautiful trees and sky's and I am so blessed to have the home we live in.

Here is a beautiful glimpse of our sky from our back porch.  Lovely even on a stormy day.

And this is a shot from the same spot at night.  What beauty surrounds us!  Sometimes I get frustrated with all the work it takes to keep up our place, but how can I when I get to glimpse this majesty on a regular basis?

We have also had some bluebirds this year!  We have not seen them in the past three years that we have lived here so this is a fun find for us.  They are noisy birds though!

And there are not too many people who can fly a kite in their back yard!  I hope you take the time to look around your home and find the everyday beauty around you!  God bless!

Our Little Friend!

We have an interesting new friend at our place.  He or she is a little swallow, and there may actually be more than one, it's hard to tell them apart you know.. LOL  Anyway, our little friend is some kind of swallow and I really wish I knew what kind it was exactly.  If you know, please let me know! ;)

Anyway, probably about two weeks ago I was in my kitchen getting my things together to meet my daughter outside so we could get her to school.  I was in a hurry as I gathered my things and as I looked towards the kitchen window I could see through the blinds (which were barely open) that there was a swallow flying in front of the window.  It was just kind of hovering there.  I stood there watching him, as if in a trance because I couldn't believe my eyes.  He just kept tapping at the window as he was flying and looking directly at me.  

I gathered myself together and went outside and closed the door so that I could grab my girl and go, but I couldn't resist peeking around the corner to see if the bird was still there.  It was!  It suddenly saw us and flew directly towards us and kept flying in front of us for a couple minutes until we needed to leave.  As we were going I asked my daughter what she thought the bird meant and she said, "I think it is Jesus telling us that He is always with us and always will be!"  I could say nothing but wow.

I told my husband about it and he "kind of" believed me.  This is a hard story to believe, you know, the fish was "THIS BIG!" kind of story... lol  Well, a couple days later on Mother's day it happened again.  I got up and went out on the sofa and Mark was already sitting there.  Our daughter was talking to us so Mark and I had our backs to the window.  All the sudden in the middle of our daughters story she stops and is staring at the window wide eyed.  We turn to see what she is looking at and there is another swallow, hovering in front of the window.  For the next 45 minutes or so it kept coming to the window.  He would peck at it or tweet, but it did not seem fearful at all.  My husband was now in awe with us.

A couple days after that Mark was mowing the lawn and I was working on bills.  When I was done I got up to go outside to help him and when I was walking through the living room I saw that both my cats were perched on the edge of the sofa looking eagerly at something.  I look up a bit and what do I see?  That swallow perched on the front of our window right in front of the cats, un-afraid of what might happen to him.  He stayed there for a few minutes and I was able to catch him on my phone.  See how tiny he is? That latch on the window seal is shorter than my thumb!

This has happened several times now and he has not left yet.  It has been a total blessing and I love this little bird (or birds) and hope they never leave.  They remind me that God is in control and that if He provides even for these little birds, how much more will he provide for me.

God Bless!

The Changing of Isreals Boarders

It was made clear this week that President Obama believes that borders of Israel and Palestine should be based on 1967 lines with mutually agreed land swaps.  This not only makes me sad for Isreal, it causes some fear to rise up in me.  It also makes me wonder how he would respond if the same was done to us.  Let me explain.

The sadness is for the people of Israel.  No matter how hard they try to defend themselves the whole world seems to be against them, yet because they are favored by God they continue to stand strong.  That is where the fear comes in.  The Lord clearly says that cursed are those who do not stand with Israel.  This move by our president would surely show the world that we have chosen for the first time NOT to stand with Israel.  That puts us in a scary place.  Our country is already in a difficult place, we don't need to also stop receiving God's blessings and grace because we choose to not stand with Israel anymore.

My last point is this.  America is a country that is pretty young.  We took our lands from Mexico and the Native Americans.  How would we feel if another country came along and told us that we had to give back Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California to Mexico because that is the way it used to be?  Didn't matter that we won it through war and have established our boundaries.  What if they said we had to give the majority of our country back to the Native Americans because they were here first?  How would we react to such stipulations from another powerhouse country that "had been" our ally?  How would you feel as a citizen of the USA?

These are very serious questions and if we are not willing to allow those things to happen to us as a country, why do we expect them to allow it to happen to theirs?  Why would we force this on someone else?  I think that we need to think clearly and ask God to lead us in this because we do not want to be the ones to come against the Israeli people.  We just need to view the past to see the possible ramifications for our future.  I pray for our president and his future decisions regarding Israel.

May 21, 2011 ~ The End of the World

Have you been following all the hype that has been stirred up by the followers of Harold Camping?  Today is the day that they would call the "End of the World."  There are many people who have become fearful because of his teaching and many more who have decided that because of them this is a day to mock.  

The sad thing is that Camping's followers are not trying to lead people astray, they truly believe what they believe, but they are the ones led astray.  And because they truly believe in their date and are vocal about it, those who do not believe in Christ and that He will return just look at all Christians with even more disbelief and even hatred.  It even causes other Christians to disbelieve because of the rhetoric. 

I believe a couple things though.  The followers of Harold Camping are going to need love and forgiveness for leading others astray and for spreading false doctrine.  As a Christian I believe that if we do not give these simple things to those people how can we expect love and forgiveness for ourselves?  What would happen if we showed love to those people who are believing wrong?  Would their hearts be softened towards the truth?  I believe so.

I also believe that Christ is coming soon.  I believe that the hour is near and that we are to be prepared for His arrival.  The only way we can truly do that is to live a life devoted to the Lord, knowing that we have surrendered our hearts to Jesus because He is the only one that can forgive our sins, save us from our damnation, and seat us at His side unblemished before the one true God!  As Christians we should be excited for His return, not fearful.

If you want to have the assurance that you will be with Him in eternity, it is simple.  Ask him into your heart as the leader of your life, ask His forgiveness of your sins, turn from your ways and follow Him.  He will save you, forgive you, and lead you into a life of amazing dreams fulfilled, dreams you didn't even believe could be yours.  Be bold, ask him now!

The Lord loves you, and so do I.  Have a blessed day!

"I Want You With Me" by Julie Meyer

There is a beautiful album out by Julie Meyer that I have been listening to for a few months now.  It is Paint Your Picture and it has some amazing music that is truly from her heart and the heart of God.  One of the songs is "I Want You With Me" and it is the cry of Jesus to us.. longing for us... searching for us.  His desire for us and love for us, His bride. 

The beginning of the song starts with these short phrases:

    I want you with me
    I want you shining in purity
    I want you with me
    I want you shining in righteousness

The part that grabs my heart every time I hear this song is the, I want, part of the phrases.  I want, I want, I want.... Jesus wants me??  Why would He want me?  What in the world is He thinking?  He could never WANT me??? could He?  I have always wondered why would someone ever want me, especially the God of the universe.  I am dirty, ugly, filthy and unlovable.  I am not pure!  I am not righteous!  I certainly do not measure up.  Those worldly self-loathing tapes of the enemy start to scream in my head.

Then comes a verse that brings you closer to His heart and what He is looking for:

     Oh and I, I'm after a bride
     I'm after a prize
     One I can possess
     One I can refine
     Oh and I, I want you to shine
     Like the strength of the Sun
     I want your soul
     I want your all
     Every beat of your heart

The part that sticks out to me here is the phrase, One I can refine. He is looking to refine us into what He wants, into the pure, righteous one that He created us to truly be.  He is looking for His bride, and He is looking to us... the broken, fallen, dirty and defiled.  He wants to take all the bad that is there and He wants to refine it, change it and purify it!

He wants us with Him!  He wants us as His bride!  Not just the good parts, but all of us!  He is what will make us pure and whole and when we have given ourselves over to Him, letting Him refine us, then we can walk with assurance that we are pure and righteous in our Lord's eyes. 

Jesus is the cure to the virus of sin and with that life saving realization, I fell to my knees and wept.  I wept with pain with a sense of knowing that it was all my sins and filth that put Jesus on that cross and caused His great suffering.  But I also wept with gratefulness and peace because I knew that without a doubt that His time on that cross was followed by His resurrection and that He is now alive... and after His bride!  I am His bride and I am refined more every day by the Holy Spirit who was given to us by Jesus when He departed this world so that I and we can shine like the strength of the Sun! 

I thank you Jesus for all of your suffering and all of your sacrifices that you have been faithful to fulfill.  I thank you Jesus for wanting me, for refining me and loving me enough to continue to want me.  And I am thankful that you sent your Holy Spirit to dwell within me so that I can truly be purified and made righteous to stand for for my amazing Father in heaven.  You are amazing and I never want to forget that.

Thank you Julie Meyer for making such inspiring beautiful music that touches the heart and soul.  To find out more about Julie and her music you can find her at the following sites:

Julie Meyer (her website) ~ http://www.juliemeyer.com/

Facebook page ~ http://tinyurl.com/69xo62b

Twitter ~ http://twitter.com/#!/juliemeyerihop

Youtube ~ http://tinyurl.com/66e66f5 

I pray you are as blessed by her music and the Lord's love as I have been!

Operation Solid Lives

It has been almost 2 weeks since my journey of Operation Solid Lives (OSL) ended.  OSL is an intense decipleship program offered by our church, Church of Living Water. (http://www.livingwater.com/)  Boy what a journey it was!  I can't tell you completely what it has meant to me but I will try to do justice to how it has impacted my life.

OSL is one of those things that makes you want to pull your hair out at times, and at others weep with appreciation and jump with joy for the relationship that is forged with our Lord because of it.  Let me explain.

When Mark and I first started OSL I was excited to start a new study and journey.  They encourage couples to do it together which was exciting for me but Mark wasn't as eager as I was.  Don't get me wrong, he wanted to do it but he went with me more because I asked him and he is an awesome husband and loves me.  Like I said I was excited, until we got there and were greeted with a couple of unexpected realities. 

The first reality was that we would NOT be sitting with each other.  Now, I was partially excited to do this because my hubby and I would be together!  We haven't been able to do anything together in quite a while and I was looking forward to spending time in a group getting to know others with my best friend.  When we walked in though and looked for our name tags we quickly found out that our seating would be at separate tables, Mark with men and me with other women.  Our smiles and anticipations both sank.  Oh well, we would sit as close as we could and try make the best of it.

The second was the rules.  Lots of rules!  Mark and I are not exactly the best at being consistent with structured kinds of things.  First there was only 2 hours of TV, movies, reading or music a week unless it was Christian music or teachings.  That seemed to hurt most people but what got me the most was the Bible verse memorization.  I do not memorize easily.  There were a lot of things we had to do such as reading certain chapters in our bibles every day, journaling, listening to teachings, coming to all of the meetings, attend the church services and sit in the first 3 rows (which I still don't get).

I wasn't feeling the home teachings so much (good teacher, just long and repetitive at times), neither was I enjoying the sitting in the first three rows (we are back third of the church sitters.. lol) but as I said above those bible verses were just not my friend.  I was trying so hard to memorize them and as I tried I would get one part mixed up with another verse or just go blank.  I was really beating myself up until my 4th class, when I visited my coach and ended up in tears over it.  She quickly reminded me that I don't have to be perfect, that I have only to try and that it was more important that those verses got into my heart!  What a relief that day was because the expectation of having to recite my un-memorized verses was taking over every thought and ruining my days.  I was reminded that there is "NO condemnation in Christ Jesus!" 

Well, I was almost on my last week of OSL and I was proud of my accomplishments of journaling and reading and even memorizing some of my verses but didn't really feel there was this huge change in me that I was expecting, until April 5th. 

My dad died on April 6th, 2001 and on the 5th I was reflecting on that time.  As I thought about it pain and tears welled up inside of me.  I thought about the time that I spent in Idaho taking care of him (he was unconscious most of our time there), and the time that I read the bible to him hoping he would hear me and turn to Christ.  Most of all I thought about my last moments with him before we left to come home because we had to go back to work.  I said good bye and we drove our 8 hours home and the next morning I got the call, he had died.

My heart was stricken with grief by the fact that I wasn't there when he died, I left one day too soon.  The grief was overwhelming wondering if my dad had accepted Christ before his death or not.  As I cried I felt fear and panic rise up in me.  I had to do something, and I found myself thinking frantically, "I have to find my bible, where is my bible, I just need to read my bible and I will be ok!"    Those thoughts stopped me dead in my tracks.

In the past if I was hurting so much that panic would arise I would run to food, the TV, movies, or other self destructive activities, but that day, for the very first time I was running to God's word!  Life itself!  It hit me, the last 3 weeks of OSL had infiltrated so deep into my spirit that running to God was my hope, not the things of this world that did nothing but hurt me.  I had hope in my Christ, in His Word, and in the Life I knew it would give me.  I was not feeling a lot the first three weeks because I was storing up what God wanted me to be able to use in the future.  I was storing up HIS HOPE!

When I ran to the Word, God didn't stop the pain, but He did stop the panic, and how grateful I am for that.  Realizing I can feel pain without falling apart is a huge thing for me and I am so thankful for my church for offering OSL because I don't think I would have this hope otherwise.

Was OSL the best thing I have ever done?  I don't know.  But what I do know is that without it, I wouldn't be where I am today and I couldn't get to the places I know God will lead me to in the future. 

Birthday Camping!

My birthday was last week and I was asked by many people what I wanted, of course there are too many things to list and too many things I would never ask for.  We have been working hard to cut spending and to change the way we see presents or gifts.  We don't want birthdays or holidays to be about the gifts, but about the love and the relationships.  My wonderful husband and daughter made sure I had presents and cake though!

So, when asked by my sweet husband what I wanted to do, I said... CAMPING!

I love to camp and getting away from all the things in life that get between you, God and your family.  So for me, it was perfect.  We packed up the tent trailer, made sure we had goodies to eat, "DRY" wood to build a fire (because what is camping if there isn't a good fire) and warm clothing.  We were not sure if we would be camping in the snow or rain, since we haven't been in the 60s yet this year and we have had a lot of low snow!  Either way it was going to be fun... I knew it!

When we got there we made sure to find a secluded place, not too hard since no one else in their right minds is going camping in the wet rainy season here!  I never said we were in our right minds.  We got set up right away, and as you can see Charis decided the picnic table was a stage and Sadee had fun with all the smells!

 

Once we were done with all the set up everyone was starving, so lunch was served and Charis of course thought there was nothing better than eating in the trailer, even if she still had to eat her veggies.  (As you can see, I brought my birthday flowers with me!)

 

Charis truly had a blast and I loved seeing her have fun! 

 

   She is a total ham and adores the outdoors!

This is her on the picnic table again singing and dancing for us.  I about had a heart attack each time she was within an inch of the edge but she just rolled her eyes at me, she knew what she was doing!  LOL

 Beautiful girl enjoying the sunset!

 
 

It is getting COLD!!!!  The nights got super chilly and we woke up each morning with ice on the dog water.  The sun is going down as Charis can feel it so she is huddled while she waits for the fire!

 

 

 Ahhh, Fire!  As you can see, she didn't have to wait long.  I have always thought that the best thing about camping is the fire.  I love the true heat it puts off, while it burns your knees, and the beauty of the flames.  I also love to roast (or burn) marshmellows. We don't eat them, yuck!  

We are an anti-marshmellow family!

 As with most camping trips, the evening skies did not disappoint us.  The sun went down with blazing colors which I will share in another post, and the moon was full and put out as much light at times as the evening sun.I am so grateful for this trip.  It was a true blessing to be with my family in such a beautiful place.  I will soon share some more pictures of all the wildlife we saw, and the most amazing sunsets!  Be Blessed!

Curriculum

As we take the time to research homeschooling for our beautiful daughter it is interesting how many curriculum are out there!  Way more than I could ever research completely.  Thank goodness for others who have gone before us right!  It is nice to get feedback from other people as well as from blogs.  But I am a hands-on kind of person so it is still difficult for me.  Thank goodness for the curriculum fair coming up on June!  I can't wait.


So far there are three curriculum that are jumping out at me.  Charistian Light Publications has a great homeschool program that I a loving the look of and may be the one.  Lifepac by Alpha and Omega, Christian Light Education and Sonlight are at the top right now as well,  A Beka is another good program, and Singapore Math looks fun.  But again, I need to see it all hands-on.  It is difficult making these decisions with little pictures on the web... and sometimes no pictures at all.  I need to see, touch and feel it.. lol  I can't wait until the curriculum fair!

If you have anymore insight then I would love to hear from you and get your opinions!

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

Spring Break Fun

We didn't go anywhere exciting this spring break.  We stayed home and enjoyed each others company.  But we did go outdoors on the ONE non-rainy day!  Notice I didn't say sunny!  We did get a bit of sun breaks here and there on Saturday, but all in all, not so much sun... BUT there was an absence of rain!  I will take that anytime!

First we worked on our tent tailor, we are going camping this weekend for my birthday and I wanted to open it up, clean out the dust and purify the water tank.  That was fun, going through all the gear, letting Charis play around and enjoy memories of the past!  I love camping!

After that we decided to go into town and just enjoy the weather, walk around and get some fresh air.  So we went down by the capital building, as you can see, there is no sun!  But no rain either!

Capital Building ~ Olympia, WA

We saw lots of beautiful trees and Charis had fun climbing them!  Or trying to rather, she would get scared as soon as she got up there, but it was fun anyway.  The colors of the trees were so vivid and beautiful, I was in awe of how we miss those colors sometimes because of the constant rain this time of year.  I am so ready for sunshine so I can take in more beauty as it blossoms! 

There is a grouping of trees over by the DOT building and right next to it there is a community garden that has been planted.  Charis had a blast running through the trees and playing between the gardens!

Charis posing for her picture ~ 

Charis having fun running through the maze of trees!

~ Almost looked like Chronicles of Narnia!





 







      Beautiful girl in the beautiful trees ~

 I love my little Muppin!