In the last two weeks I have embarked on a new journey that has both blessed and challenged me. I have been in two different writing workshops and have experienced more excitement and hope for my future than I have in a long time. I have had some light-bulb moments and I have seen a clearer future. I have had a real peace enter into my world. All these things added together make me long and yearn for more workshops and ways to challenge myself. I believe writing may become my new addiction.
I have learned that when I write I am not alone, there is a whole world out there that can be part of my world when I write. Until now I have never realized how true that reality is. I do have a voice and I am not silent anymore. I no longer have regrets for having an opinion, for telling the truth or sharing my heart. My faith, family and experiences are what make me who I am and they should not be hidden away. I am a writer and sharing those things is what I do!
I have never thought of myself that way, as a writer. Of course my husband loved my writing but... wasn't he supposed too? His job is to build me up and take care of me. He has always tried to make me feel good about myself and the things I try to accomplish so of course he must have lied... right? After working with some incredible women over the last couple of weeks I now know that he was telling the truth. Bias may have been involved of course but not as much as I assumed. I was good, had a talent and was getting better.
I now know that my writing is responded to in a positive way. I have had quite a bit of positive feedback lately online and in my peer group in the workshops. It is so hard to accept a compliment. I have a lot of work to do but in that quest to get better I am still good and have the potential to be great. I can share all I know, love and dream of and it has the potential to touch someone, help someone, give someone hope for a future. I can help someone see and feel the true power of God I have seen and felt. I can help someone start loving themselves and stop with the self torture that was started by someone else long ago. I have a vision, a purpose. I am a writer!
No matter what happens from here or where I go I have my words . They are always inside me and they will no longer be silenced by fear, hatred, procrastination, guilt or duty. They will be given a platform, a piece of paper. They will be read, scratched out on tissue, rewritten, spoken and sung. They will live on and be a gift to my daughter and her children and the love of my life. They will build up hearts, tear down strong-holds, and bring peace. They are me. I am a writer!