To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool!

Wow, life brings us to strange places, places we would never have expected to be.  Some are good and some, not so much.  We have a beautiful six year old daughter and if you would have asked me 6 years ago if I would ever consider homeschooling the answer would have been a resounding NO!  Be careful, because your no's could end up being maybes, then they might turn into a yes, louder than the before-mentioned NO.

Well, some things have happened to urge us to consider homeschooling.  When I first started looking into it fear overcame me.  "I am not qualified to teach children... I don't even know how to start... What in the world will happen to my daughter if I choose to do it?.. Won't my daughter be scarred for life?.."  and on and on the questions go.

But as I have researched the subject, going to dozens of blogs, dozens of websites and dozens of curriculum websites I have found that everyone who makes this decision goes through the same kind of stress and worries when trying to come up with the right decision for them.  That is a comfort, though not as much comfort as the statistics I have found going through many different sources.

If you go on education alone, homeschoolers test much higher on average than traditional school kids.  They transition into the non-school world much better and colleges are now recruiting homeschoolers because they work better on their own and are more self-motivated.  That was enough to get me to thinking more clearly.

Then the next thing that I researched was how it would affect my family and it's dynamics.  Would we get closer or would it drive a wedge between us.  That was exciting to read about as well because blog after blog, story after story, book after book all I found was that the bond between children and parents and siblings was strengthened and sealed on a deeper level than ever before.  I want that too!

When I started to see all the opportunities and possibilities, far more than I could share here, I started to get excited... very excited!  Again, not what I ever expected to feel when the word homeschool was ever mentioned.

We have not made a formal decision to homeschool but we know that it is a serious consideration and probability and that thought makes me excited.. with still a bit of worry.  How will our family take it, our friends?  But we know that if we listen to God, research wisely, make no rash decisions that we will be able to come to the right decision for our family.  God knows what is best for us, and He will guide our every path during this decision.

So even though we still are asking the question, To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool, I know we are on the right path!

Have a blessed day!  It is sunny!  That means fun in the sun!

God's Covenant Love

I went to my Wednesday morning bible study today at my church, and as with any other bible study you don't always expect to have exciting new revelation.  You always hope for it but that isn't always the case.  Sometimes the information you hear is the same information heard a thousand times and it tends to become white noise.

When I sat in my chair and settled in to hear the study that was being presented by our pastor, Pastor Jon, I was expecting it to be that kind of day.  We are studying God's Covenant Love and my mind was already thinking of a dozen different directions this was going to go, a dozen places I have already been, and a dozen places I didn't want to go hash over one more time.  I didn't want to be bored and wonder, "why did I come again?"

Don't get me wrong, hearing about God's love is wonderful.  I am very grateful for it, more grateful than I can ever express.  But I want to hear something more, something deeper.  I want to learn!  Not just chew the same words over and over again, never really growing or increasing in my knowledge of who God really is and what does He really want, expect and require of me in my relationship with Him.

So, with a sense of dread I opened my ears to listen to what was taught, and with great joy I was surprised to learn some amazing things.  This covenant thing God has for us is pretty amazing and much deeper than most of us in the Western world can even fathom.  In our country a covenant is important, but not much more (if any) than a contract.  We make a covenant in marriage but how many people in this country break that?  That number is staggering, even amongst Christians where it shouldn't be.

But to God and the people of the bible, a covenant was something extremely serious, it was most of the time lifelong (sometimes generational), it was binding and unbreakable.  The basic covenant ceremony was very detailed and even gruesome in some ways (animal sacrifice, sharing of your own blood) because it was meant to drive home the point between two parties that the covenant being made, was serious, final and unbreakable.

A covenant brought together two parties and those two parties were now one, they shared strengths and weaknesses and because of that they were truly bound in a way nothing else could bind them.

Our Lord made covenants with us in the Old Testament, and we constantly failed our part.  But God never failed His.  Time and time again He would deliver us from our mistakes, our failings, our sins and give us great rewards and favor, even though we certainly did not deserve it.  But He made a covenant, and even though we did not hold our end up, HE held his up without reservation because HE promised and HE never fails a promise.  He never promises us something and doesn't deliver, ever!  Can we say the same?  Even with good intentions, we fail.  But He doesn't, EVER!

The New Testament is all about His new covenant with us.  And as with the Old Testament covenant, the Lord has held true to His part of the new covenant, and what a wonderful thing that is.

The Lord sent His only Son, the Son He loved, to come down here on earth to live amongst us and be tempted just as we are, only He lived a pure and holy life, one without sin.  He then sentenced His only Son to die a horrible and terrible death.  Why?  To cover your sin, to cover my sin, to make a new covenant with us so that we do not have to suffer a life without our Lord.

Jesus, the Son of God gave us the ultimate sacrifice that will free us of our bondage to sin.  Just like in the Old Testament in Genesis 22:8 when Abraham takes his son Isaac up on the mountain to sacrifice him to the Lord, Isaac asked his dad where the lamb is they were going to sacrifice and Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son."  And that is what He did.

Remember Abraham didn't have to sacrifice his son because the Lord provided a ram for him to use instead because of Abraham's obedience.  The same is true for today, the Lord provided the sacrifice for us and that was His Son's life (Jesus) on the cross.  Now all we have to do is accept His gift, ask for forgiveness, show true Godly sorrow and repentance by turning from our sin and following HIM!

What an amazing gift we have.  And how much more amazing when we realize how serious God takes His part in the covenant.  How serious will you be with Him, how serious will you take this covenant?

What kind of faith do you have?

Do you base your faith on what God does, or who He is?   Do you even know?  It is something we should all be aware of because depending on the answer we can have a totally different take on life.

For the longest time I based my faith in God on what He did "for" me.  Did He keep me safe?  Did He provide this for me?  Did He answer this prayer?  Did He, Did He, DID HE?!!!  When we have a faith like this it is easy to get discouraged and to feel as if the Lord has forgotten us, or thinks we are not worth His blessings or time. 

When we live a life of, did I or didn't I get what I want and how does that make me feel, we are basically saying, "I have faith as long as He does what I ask and I feel good."  That can be dangerous, God knows best!  He knows your future, and even though we may want what we want right now, He knows if that will be detrimental to us down the road.  What feels good now may feel horrible later.  Basing faith on the ups and downs of what did God do for me is a terrible roller coaster ride that will only end badly.

But if we live our lives with faith in WHO God is instead of what He does, what a freeing thing that can be.  True faith walks with the Lord for who He is, not what He does.  God wants you to grow and He wants you to have a relationship with Him.  He loves you and will take care of your every need, not want.  He does gives us things that we want because He loves to bless us, but only if they will be beneficial for us.  When we focus on who God really is and know without a doubt that He will take care of all our needs, we are then using real faith.  Faith that brings peace.  Faith based on love instead of works.

Take Me In!

I was cleaning my house this morning and worshiping at the same time... doing the dreaded laundry.  I was listening to Petra, one of my OLD albums and what a blessing it was.  Every song was easy off the tongue and that makes it easier for me to just get into the meaning and words and praise more, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, this song, "Take Me In" comes on and I start singing and I am overcome and undone.  Before it is over I am sobbing so hard I felt as if I might be sick.  The desire to "see" God was so strong and the desire to be intimate with the ONE true God was so heavy that I was overcome with grief.  Grieved because I cannot literally see Him right now. Grieved that I know I have yet un-confessed things that keep me from Him, even if I don't realize yet what they are.  Grieved because no matter how hard I try, I will never live up to what He wants me to be or what He wants from me. 

Then that moment of overwhelming grief turns to praise because as the song says, I can enter that Holy of Holies because of the Blood Of The Lamb!  I praise you God for your righteousness and for your grace and love.  I am nothing and deserve worse than nothing, but because of YOUR love Lord I will be given grace that I do not deserve and I will be shown love beyond my imagining.  Thank you Lord for your mercy.  Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice.  Thank you Holy Spirit for dwelling within me and reminding me of it all whenever I loose sight.

Praise You Lord!

Petra, "Take Me In"

Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place

[Chorus:]
Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am

Faith

Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light.....Helen Keller

"A Shattered World"

That is what we are is it not?  A shattered world?  I know that in my own life I have lived through many things that would not only shatter the world of someone but obliterate it if it weren't for one thing... Faith.  And my faith has sustained me, saved me and brought me through many things in this world that would hope to destroy me.

You have to be careful though, because faith alone is nothing at all.  You must have faith in the right thing.  It is not faith in the invisible unseen things that we know nothing about.  It is not faith in that little round fat man that smiles smugly at you when you look at his little brass idol.  And for sure it is not faith in myself because heaven knows that if I put faith in myself I will surely let myself down.  It isn't even faith in faith, for what in the world is that?

Without something substantial to base your faith on, faith is nothing more than a blind wish that is made upon a star when you see the first star appear in the heavens.  It is random, left up to nothing more than, "What if's!"

But when we choose to base our faith on the One who was the same yesterday, today and always; the One who has said what He will do, and has done; the One who makes the lame walk and the blind see.  If we choose to base our faith on the One who gave His life to save ours, then there is hope and in that hope faith springs forth and gives birth to light!  And in that light no darkness can ever hope to gain ground and what once was shattered is now glistening as diamonds in the sun!

Faith in Our Lord is our strength, and though we are a shattered people, when we are restored then we shine all the more.... We become the light in the darkness.  But our faith must be placed righteously, or it is not of faith at all.

September 11, 2001

September 11, 2001 was a sad day for me to begin with.  I woke up thinking about my dad who had passed away a few months before.  September 11th was the first birthday to come to pass of my dad since his death, so when I woke up I started the day with tears. 

The house was quiet and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself so I got up and went to the living room and turned on the television, it was early and I was looking for the news.  When I found the news it was a picture of the first World Trade Tower with smoke billowing out of it.   At first I was confused because I wasn't sure if I really had the news or had found a movie, but I quickly realized that it was not a movie and sadly it was very real. 

As I watch in horror of the unfolding events I saw the second plain fly into the second tower live.  Alone in my living room I gasped and screamed no, and the tears began to flow.  I could not believe that what I was seeing was truly happening. 

So for the next several hours I watched as things unfolded and untold numbers of people died.  The tragedy was heart breaking and nothing was about to make it better.  September 11th was a day that was nothing but pain for me and now the American people would share in my grief but for a different reason.

Today I still cry on this day for my lost time with my dad as well as for all the lives lost and changed by the World Trade Center attacks.  Our country has been forever changed by this day and I pray that more people have been changed for the good than the bad. 

I end in a prayer that the Lord would bless all the survivors, their families and friends and all the people who worked tirelessly and selflessly during and after the attacks.  Lord bless you and keep you all, Amen.

New Chapter in Motherhood

I have been a stay at home mom for almost 6 years now.  It has been difficult but overwhelmingly rewarding.  Tomorrow, my daughter starts her career as a kindergartner.. :)  She is so excited she can't wait.  Mommy on the other hand could wait a while longer.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for my daughter, she is amazing and she is going to do great things in school.  She is a lover of learning and of making new friends and I know this is the best thing for her.  However, mommy isn't ready to let her walk out the door and spend her day with a bunch of people that she doesn't know!  But I know is that this will be a great learning experience for me as well, one filled with laughter, joy and a few tears.

You see, I can't wait to see her happy little face when I take her tomorrow and when I pick her up at the end of the day.  I can't wait to eat up all her words of excitement as she shares all the little details of her day.  I can't wait for her first field trip, her first play, her first performance and her first new art projects.  I can't wait for the day she reads her first book and feels that feeling of being proud of herself.  Those will be wonderful things to never forget. Those are the jewels tucked away in my heart.

A Conversation With Jesus

Not long ago a conversation with Jesus that I had went something like this.

Jesus: I have missed spending time with you recently.
Carri: I have been really busy with my daughter's school, our businesses, work and family life in general.

Jesus: I understand. But you know the Shepherd knows when his sheep wander off for awhile.
Carri: I know, I'm sorry.

Jesus: I was glad you came to me with your fear about being ill.
Carri: I don’t know how I could have handled that without you.

Jesus: I am there for you. But you know I am also there when things are going well.
Carri: I know. I forget that sometimes and I get so busy with stupid things that I forget to pray and spend time with you.

Jesus: I was just wondering something.
Carri: What?

Jesus: Did you find time to spend with your friends on facebook and email and other places today?
Carri: Do you need a refill or something to eat?

Jesus: Nice try. You make time for what is important to you. I want to be as important to you as you are to me.
Carri: Why do you put up with me?

Jesus: Because I love you. And I always will.

If you are like me some of your days are very similar to that when it comes to your relationship with Jesus. All or nothing. He wants us to remember that no matter what is going on in our daily lives whether it be burnt toast or birthday's that He is there waiting for us to run to Him and tell Him all about it. Yes, He already knows, but He still wants to hear it from you.

Think about our own kids, nothing gives us more pleasure then seeing our children run to us with good news, joy filled excitement over what wonderful thing just happened. Jesus wants that with us too. His heart breaks when ours does, and His heart overwhelms with joy when He see's our happiness and excitement. Don't keep Him locked out, invite Him in. He is just waiting, ever patiently.  His love and patience never fades.