A Great Way to Connect with Your Kids

In today's day and age it can be very easy to lose our connection with our kids.  And it starts to happen at a younger and younger age.  I have thought about this a lot, as do many parents.  I have a 7 year old (8 in less than a week!).  And the thought that we may someday be separated by silence scares me.

So, with that thought and prayer I set out to come up with a way to keep us connected in some small way.  Something that would strengthen the bond we already have and I think it is a fun one at that.  Can you see me smiling?!

Journaling!  Now, to some this may originally sound boring.  Some people do not like to journal.  But hear me out.  This is not just any journal it is something that will be fun for both you and your kids.  It will also give your kids a way to say the things they would never say out loud!

First I set out to make something special.  I could go buy a new journal and so could you.  You can make it a date and pick something out the really speaks to the heart of your child.  My daughter is super crafty and creative.  UNLIKE ME!  I am not.  So I decided that I would create her journal even though it would be a challenge for me, because I knew it would mean a lot to her.

First I took just a small notebook I had and since I didn't want that white paper on the front that looks so boring I decided to add a cardboard front too it using rubber cement.  I forgot how stinky that stuff was!

After bonding the cover over the original I decided to draw on it what it was to be used for.  It was a journal for us so I put our names on it.  She helped me decide where the flowers and hearts went and decided when we were done drawing.  

Before I had put the front on and before she knew what I was up to I wrote a note inside the journal.  The note started out, "My dearest Charis! I love you so much..." and went on to explain what this journal was for and why I was doing it and then finally how to use it (we will get to that in a moment).

I can't explain to you the excitement in my daughters eyes when she read the words on those pages.  You could see that she was feeling really loved and cherished.  She was feeling like she was super important and that she was going to be heard and really listened to.  Now she is only 7 (soon to be 8) but being heard and understood is still important to her. 

My heart soared with excitement knowing that she was going to be sharing with me and I with her all the things that are important too us.  We were on our way to strengthening our bond we already have, making it unbreakable.

As for the practical use of the journal here is how you use it.  You give it to your child and after you read to them, do their devotionals, cuddle or talk... you know, all those bedtime things we do together?!!  When those are done and you have kissed them good night it is their time to write.  See, a lot has happened in their little day and this helps them get it off their chest.  They can write about what happened with friends, what happened with you, the family or the dog.  They can also write about what has upset them, made them happy or things that confuse them.  They can ask questions about God, boys, friends, or your family relationships.  

Most importantly when there is something that is too difficult to say out loud, they can write it here and not fear what will happen.  It gives them a sense of release and the sense of an open door.  They know they will be listened too.  Now when they go to sleep they put it on their side table, dresser or book shelf and go off to slumber land.  The next morning it is up to you to go get it, take it to a private place and read it.  

The most important thing you will need to remember I believe was something the Holy Spirit really wanted me to convey is to never act shocked, shaken, angry or freaked out over what you read!!!  I repeat, remain calm no matter what!  Or you have lost them.  This must always be and remain a safe place remember?!

Once you are done reading what they have written you then write back to them, answering all their questions, giving them advice kindly, and most of all telling them how much you love them no matter what they let you know.  

I have told my daughter that I might come talk to her about some things once in a while, but that it will always be out of love.  And if it doesn't sound like I am being loving she has my permission to tell me so.

Her heart was so filled with excitement.  She is ready to communicate and to connect.  This will be a lot of fluff for a while I am sure.  She is only 7 (soon to be 8) you know.   But as she gets older, and this tradition continues... How much more valuable will this be?

I would love to see your ideas on this... and pictures of yours.  Share your blog links and pictures and how things are working out for you.  Most of all... be blessed!

What Will You Do?

Tragedy struck today in a small town in Western Washington.  It was heartbreaking and made me reflect a great deal and think about my reaction to things around me.

As I made my way into town for a homeschool meeting, sitting on a mound in front of a public school was an elderly man.  I had seen this man before in the area and thought nothing of him really.  As I drove by him though, something was different, he was glaring at each and every car that drove by.  As we drove by he lifted his hands and pointed his fingers at us as if shooting a gun at us, silently moving his lips to mimic the sound of a gun as it is fired.

I was slightly disturbed and ask the Lord to help him but then moved on with my morning activities, not giving him another thought.  I mean, he was just an elderly man who probably had too much to drink or was just in a grumpy fowl mood.  He wasn't doing anything other than giving people dirty looks.

On my way home from my day's events I neared the school again, yet this time I was not allowed to pass.  I asked the man and police officer that was standing there on the side of the road if there had been an accident.  He replied that there was some old man running around with a gun shooting at people so the police had the area blocked off.

I was stunned and with my daughter in the back of the car I turned around to go the long way home and immediately began to pray.  I was praying for the safety of all involved and that the man would be stopped without anyone being harmed.  My mind was surely focused on this event and how close we came to being in harms way.

When I got home I decided to post about it on Facebook so that people would pray for the situation and quickly found out that the man had been killed because he had fired at the police and they had no choice but to fire back. 

My heart was broken.  It was broken for a man who had probably lived in his little house for that last 50 plus years with a wife and children.  Children that grew up and might have no longer visited because life is just too busy and dad is just too grumpy.  The thought of his death and what his family might be going through ate away at me and the thing that hurt most was that my spirit was convicted, deeply convicted.

How many times do we see or sense something is off and we move on without another thought, and if we do pray it is a quick cursory prayer that we did out duty.  It was a quick prayer so we weren't really bothered by it and the time it was take to really pray over the situation?  I was convicted.  This man was hurting and lost.  He was not in his right mind and I knew it and I had a bad feeling when I drove by him yet all I prayed for was that the Lord would help him.  Did I really mean that prayer?  Or did I say it out of that place inside that says, "I am supposed to pray!"  Not because my heart was moved to share my worries with the Father.

It was a great lesson to me.  It made me think of my everyday situations.  Do I ask the Holy Spirit to help me to know WHAT to pray?  Or do I just plow forth with no concern with what God wants?  If I had taken that time the Spirit might have touched me and asked me to pray for something very specific and it might have been something that would have made a difference.

I am not saying I am responsible for this man's death.  He died because of his choices and it is extremely sad.  But I am responsible to do exactly what the Lord calls me to do, and I think that would include praying for the lost and hurting, praying for this man.  The Lord LOVES HIM!  The Lord was grieved by this event today. 

What will you do next time you are given that check in your spirit that something isn't quite right?  Ignore it, throw a vague prayer out there, or turn to the Father, ask the Spirit to guide you and thank the Savior for giving you the ability to always have access to them for all your needs.

My First, My Last, My All

First, I was going to make this a 3 part series but I just couldn't do it.  I didn't want to hold off on any parts in fear you may not come back and finish, leaving you with only part of the truth.  So forgive me but this is long.  :)  My God pressed upon me to share and so share I have done.  Grab your coffee or water and let yourself see what the Lord has for you today.

Our pastor, Pastor Jon Cobler, spent about 3 weeks talking about that thing that most people hate to hear about the most in church, money and tithing.  Most of us when we hear a preacher on TV or in the pulpit tend to tune out when it comes to hearing about “our money” and what we are supposed to do with it, in particular, tithing.

I must admit that there were times in my early years of marriage that I didn't want to hear those sermons either.  They were always labeled with "supposed to" statements and comments riddled with guilt. As if I didn’t already feel guilty enough!  We may not remember the exact words used but we sure remember how they made us feel.  And that impression can surely sower a person to the concept of tithing very quickly. 

I have always wanted to know how the tithe is truly to be looked at since there is a difference between the Old Testament Covenant & Law and New Testament Covenant & Grace.  I am not happy to just be spoon fed and I love to dig deeper and find the truth in the midst of all the laws put upon us by modern day Pharisees.  So this study was perfect.  Of course a lot of what I will be sharing with you is revelation shared by my pastor, but it wasn’t shared by me until I spent the last couple weeks going over every verse he gave us as well as reading much more on the subject that I came to the conclusions I am sharing with you now.  And the conclusion I have come to is that I am to give Him my First, my Last and my All.  Let me explain.

I have been a faithful tither for many years but what does it really mean?  Is my idea of faithful the same as the Lord’s?  Are my reasons for tithing the right reasons?  God clearly tells to us to give with a cheerful heart. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  Then there are these questions… Do you tithe before taxes, after?  Do you tithe on money you make on tax returns, interest earned?  You know… these are all the questions that will help you to justify keeping more of "YOUR" money and give God less.  How silly considering that all we have is only given to us because it was HIS to give to us in the first place.  We wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for His grace, mercy and love.  He is surely the true Cheerful Giver.

So for me it was wonderful that Pastor Jon really went deep into Old & New Testament and showed us a more meaningful and Godly way to look at tithing.  Let’s look at some things I learned and I pray that it will touch you the way it touched me.  First we will look at the Old Testament then the New Testament. 

OLD TESTAMENT (Testament means Covenant)

Definition of the Biblical word Covenant: 

• The conditional promises made to humanity by God, as revealed in Scripture.
• The agreement between God and the ancient Israelites, in which God promised to protect them if they kept his law and were faithful to Him.

In the Old Testament according to the promises made by God to man, men were to give their first-fruits and at the end of a harvest give 1/10th (or a tithe) of the full amount that they made.   

First-Fruits ~   At the time most people were either farmers or shepherds or a mix of both.  For farmers it meant the first crop that was harvested went directly to the Lord.  For shepherds it meant that the first born was given as a tithe. 

The Tithe ~  For the tithe, at the end of a harvest for the farmer they would gather all they harvested and give 1/10th of that harvest over to the Lord.  For the Shepherd it was the same, whatever they owned at the end of the year they gave 1/10th of their livestock.

The Tithe was put in place to protect God's people from their own greed.  By worshiping the Lord with our tithes then we are keeping God central, instead of our things.  Think about it, how many of us put our things first?  Would we give up our stuff for HIM?  Would you give up your big screen TV to feed children that are homeless?  God may not be asking you to, but if He was, would you?  Or do you worship those things more than you worship God?

The tithe was also to pay for the ministry of the priests and Levites (Numbers 18:21).  They continually did the work of the Lord and therefore could not work outside of the ministry of the Lord to make money.  This helped them do what the Lord asked as well as sustained them.  It was also used for celebrations through specific feasts (Deuteronomy 16:16-1717). 

Another use was to provide a resource for those who didn't belong to the church, as well as for widows and for orphans (Deuteronomy 26:12).  It was to be used this way so that the world would see how generous the Lord’s people were and know there was something different about them and come to know our Lord.  It was to help provide for those who couldn't provide for themselves, the lost, the broken, the hurting.  That is the true heart of God.  

So, do most of us tithe like that today? Do we give to the poor, widowed, and orphaned?  Do we care more about showing the world who God is through our love for His creation, or do we horde our belongings as if we acquired them all on our own?  As if we could!!  All we have belongs to HIM!  Shouldn't we at least give Him true praise by offering back to Him some of what He has already given us?  Just imagine… would there be one hungry person if every true believer tithed the way the Lord asked?  I think not.

I think many are good at giving the tithe (1/10^th) at the end of our paycheck.  But what about honoring Him with our first?  And as far as the tithe goes, do we really honor him with a full tithe, or are we always looking for ways to hold back even there?  I know my worries sometimes push me to think about how much better it would be with that extra 10%.  However the real truth smacks me right between my eyes before I can get too far with that thought.  I know that without a doubt we should not be able to make ends meet right now.  Things keep breaking down and we keep trying to figure out how to pay for things.  But we do!!! That is because our God is taking care of our needs when we honor Him with what is rightfully His.  

NEW TESTAMENT (Testament/Covenant)

In the New Testament Jesus made things easy, the definition of the quantity of our tithe is...

EVERYTHING!

In Romans 12:1-2 Paul writes to tell them/us to "present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."  In the New Testament we are to start with everything we are.  To me that means all our money and things, as well as our time, and deeds.  Giving of our money is difficult but we recognize that as tithe.  Sometimes giving of our time can be just as difficult.  Again we are selfish, we need our “me” time and heaven forbid if we don’t get it.  When that person at the grocery store starts a conversation with you are you loving them back by conversing with them, or hurrying away so you can do that next thing on YOUR To Do list instead of thinking maybe that person was on God's To do list?  And deeds, will you clean your neighbor’s house when they have that surgery?  Will you fix the washer when your mother-in-law is too poor to call someone else to do it?  Will you spend that extra time with your child when they are craving you, or will you once again tell them you are busy?

Jesus made it clear that in order to be a believer of Him, we needed to confess our sins, turn from them and to follow Him.  If that is the case, following Him needs to mirror His life.  Jesus gave away more than He ever received.  He cared for everyone, the disciples, the followers, the unwanted, the poor, the widowed, the orphaned, the tax collector, the prostitutes and even the Pharisees...  What one of those categories do you fall under?   It doesn’t matter, God Loves YOU!  And as a follower of Christ, so should I!

I believe I am a disciple of Christ, therefore my accountability is much higher than most.  And what I may have not known before this sermon is now before me and I will be held accountable for what I choose to do or not to do in light of this new information.  I don't want to stand before my Father and have him say, "Why didn’t you give my love to everyone you met?"  I believe my sins are absolutely covered by the blood of Jesus, but I must first confess, then I must repent.  And that means I must do my very best to do things the way they should be done according to His Word, not my wishes. And not because my works get me anywhere, but because I love Him and want to live for Him the way He wants me to.  

Love is in the midst of it all.  1 Corinthians 13:1-3  goes on to say that if you do all these wonderful things in this world, but have not love than it is for nothing, and profits me nothing.  Can we truly say we are tithing because we LOVE?

So where do you fall today?  Do you tithe?  How much and why?  Is it out of obligation or out of worship?  If it is the first, I task you to sit and think and pray with the Lord to change that.  Take your money before you tithe in your hands; tell the Lord how grateful you are for the opportunity to give back to Him.  Thank Him for all He has done for you.  Then offer up your tithe, your time, your hands and feet.  Show him that you love Him by listening to Him and finding out how He wants you to be used today.  Make your whole life a living sacrifice to Him who died for you, for He is so faithful to you regardless of your obedience.  

I have been doing this and sometimes I have cried, pouted and gotten angry.  But it was only because of what I found in my own heart…  Selfishness, fear and pride.  After many hours of prayer I am honored to say that I choose in love to give Him, my glorious Father… my First, my Last and my All.